Pati, Patni Aur Woh tested my marriage: Juhi Parmar

How was the experience of being on a reality show with cameras capturing each and every moment of yours?

Ideally, when people talk of being on the camera 24/7, they say that they cannot be themselves. However, that doesn’t hold true for me. I do not believe in any sort of manipulation or diplomacy. I reacted very naturally to each situation. There were some situations that were created for us and even there, I reacted spontaneously, being true to myself. At the end of it all, the show was a mixture of both good and bad.

What got both Sachin and you to participate in the show?

In your normal life, when a couple fights, there will always be others, family or friends, to help out with issues and facilitate communication. However, in such a situation, when it’s just you and your spouse, you are compelled to find solutions to your own problems. It’s just been a couple of months to our marriage and we’re still in the process of discovering ourselves within it. We felt the show would be a place that would test our marriage as an institution. So we could either emerge with a strong relationship or a weak one. But thankfully, we have emerged super-strong with a better understanding of each other.

Were you considering having kids before the show?

No, not at all. Again, we have been married only for a couple of months now. Earlier, yes, I was considering it at some point in life. However, after the show, I have realised that parenting is a full-time job and the child becomes the sole priority! So, definitely not for the next couple of years.

Was it difficult letting go of the kids after a certain number of days because obviously there does develop some kind of an attachment?

It was difficult. But it’s not possible to have an attachment with each and every child. The connection with each child is very different. So you can’t connect in the same way with each and every child. For me, I think, the child I was most attached to was the first kid, the infant boy. When he left, I even cried bitterly. Unfortunately, with the toddlers, there was no attachment whatsoever. They kept howling for their mother and in fact, wanted to go back home as well. So the focus was not on forming a bond or anything with them but more of consoling them. I got attached to the girl child who came after the toddlers. She was a complete mama’s girl and I really shared something very special with her. When she left, I was extremely upset.

It is often said that once a child comes into your life, the equation between the husband and wife changes. Did you see a different side to your husband?

Once a child comes into the picture, the husband takes a backseat and the father comes in the forefront. Everything needs to be thought from the child’s perspective then. The child’s demands are considered top priority. We may not want to do something but we will end up doing it because the child wants to do it. For example, during the Diwali party, we wives had put up a show for our hubbies and I was extremely excited about it. But since our girl, being a little one, was tired and sleepy, we had to head back home. We didn’t want to but we did for the child’s sake. Even for me, my role as a wife took a backseat and the mommy role came first. Sachin’s transition would have probably shocked me if perhaps I hadn’t undergone the same. But we both realised that the child was a priority.

What was the most memorable moment during the show?

It is very difficult to point out any one memorable moment. There are so many. Perhaps, my strongest moment was when the infant boy left and I cried. It was really heart wrenching to see him leave. Another very special moment was when the girl child came up to me and told me that she liked me better than her own mom and that she wouldn’t leave me. It really touched my heart. It was actually a very sentimental moment for me because preceding this, the whole fiasco with the toddlers had taken place. Just that simple act of affection from the little girl meant a lot.

Out of the remaining couples, which couple do you think will eventually make fantastic parents?

Now that I, myself, am watching the show on air, I am actually quite surprised with the way the couples are dealing with their children. See, parenting comes naturally and no parent is bad. Each couple has a different way of dealing with their kids and no way is wrong. It is extremely unfair if I say that one couple is good and another one is bad. This was a different experience for all of us and we all dealt with it differently. For instance, Gurmeet and Debina bring their humour to taking care of the child and the child enjoys it. Gaurav has a different way of taking care of the child and so does Mouni. Rakhi, for instance, is constantly bubbling with energy and she completely entertains the child, which is also needed.

So, what after Pati, Patni aur Woh?

Well, I have returned to my show, Yeh Chanda Kanoon Hai which has now become a bi-weekly. Sachin, unfortunately, couldn’t take up any shows at the beginning of Pati, Patni aur Woh, because it required a long schedule of dates. So now he’s in talks for a number of shows.